I would drop off the jeepney and I board on another. The sky’s quite dark. And the streetlights be gleaming like yellow stars in the night. It feels like Christmas with the chill in the breeze only the lights seem grayscale; so simple yet so magnificent. But deep within something is missing and being tired makes you forget or unscrew the pieces that keeps you together.
A long way from home.
I sat down near the edge of the jeepney. I looked around and the front seats were full counting the driver. A few distance to my right was a lady; there was a cute guy to my left. Across me, a couple of sheer sweetness. I couldn’t help but sense the gentleness of the man right there in front of me. The way he took care of the lady whose heart he shares with is just… mesmerizing. It made me look back and little by little crack my heart open only to bleed with regret and yearning.
Regret for not seizing every moment that I used to have. Yearning for that same moment when everything was nothing but pure truth and that it would last for all eternity.
I struggled to take the time traversing home to false asleep. Serenity. Temporary bliss. For moment there, I felt like I wanted to abandon everything and trap myself in time feeling that bliss of having to rest after a day’s stress and confusion over juggling every single thing that has caught me weak in action. I have never appreciated solace and silence.
But there I was getting nearer and nearer to a place right where I should be: Home.
And what else can I do but dig up the things that I could look forward to. I did. I think I managed to pull that off quite well.
Until I got home… I could say that ‘I thank God for letting me see things this way.’ I could still thank God for allowing me to see the brighter side of things I believe that destroyed me long ago. I have been trapped in the valley of misery for too long and I am grateful for elevators and that help me see what the light touches even when it hardly reaches me now.