I’m only minutes away from bedtime. I’m quite confused what to write about really. But I would like to share that I am listening to “Say Something” by A Great Big World featuring Christina Aguilera. On loop.
And it’s actually…sad.
I’m minutes away from bedtime and I’m actually shoving sad melodies in my head. Choking my mind with my past heartbreak. I feel my heart weeping and all at once trying to keep up with what should be felt. I know for sure that my heart is trying its best to maintain a serene and calm posture. And it is struggling.
I’m minutes away from bedtime and I’m dragging myself down.
I’m minutes away from bedtime and I haven’t finished either of my homeworks. Well, I’m unsure of the other. I haven’t even prepared what I’m going to wear for tomorrow’s school day. The electric fan keeps blowing and it feels like it’s reminding me of things I must keep in mind for the rest of the week. I’ve books to read and other things to think about. That couple of latter things I’m sure of but still it’s quite…unclear.
I’m minutes away from bedtime and I hunger for the feeling of being so special. Just like I once felt even when it was nothing but foolishness. I can’t believe I am this honest to admit that I feel desperate. I don’t know. Who doesn’t want to feel that way? Loved. Wanted. Special.
I’m minutes away from bedtime and I’m singing the very same song to myself.
“Say something I’m giving up on you”
‘Don’t kid yourself,’ I say. ‘You’re not one who would give up. You don’t give a fuck about giving up.’
I’m minutes away from bed— It’s bedtime.